One Piece: Drabbles & Ficlets
by lightningmouse
Summary: A series of drabbles and ficlets focusing on various characters of the One Piece universe.
1. Logic à la Luffy

Logic_à la_ Luffy  
_**---------------------**_

Zoro clenched his teeth and quietly scowled his way through the market place, ignoring the children screeching gaily while running about, the pretty vendors thrusting this or that piece of fruit under his nose with promises of freshness and delightful taste or the coy looks from some of the older women. He looked over his shoulder and snarled quietly, before looking forward again.

This resulted in three children screaming in mortal terror and running away, a fourth bursting into tears and Luffy slapping him on the shoulder merrily, the force of the blow _not_ sending Zoro anywhere at all though it did gain his attention long enough that the locals could execute a prudent retreat. The shopkeeper with the broken store awning from the reverberations of Luffy's attention getting shoulder slap on Zoro had no complaints – better that than the swordsman actually letting his foul mood slip further from the already precarious control he'd been showing since the crew's arrival on the tiny island, really.

"Neh, Zoro! Isn't it nice here?" This was said before Luffy proceeded to stuff something mostly unidentifiable but vaguely food looking into his mouth, cheeks popping out until he resembled nothing more than a chipmunk busily stuffing itself full of nuts for winter. While on speed.

"Whatever." The swordsman pointedly didn't look _there_ and instead scowled at the end of the marketplace and the dubious freedom which beckoned beyond. Maybe he could go back to the ship and just do some weights... if Luffy would damn well let go of him. The slow realization percolated its way through the swordsman brain and he blinked, looking around slowly towards the brightly smiling (and eating) captain.

"Dammit Luffy, let me-"

"Neh, Zoro." In the silence that followed, heat waves radiating off Zoro as he struggled to keep hold of his temper _just_ a bit longer, Luffy grinned disarmingly. "Wanna fight?"

The answering smile was akin to that of a starving wolf presented with a pair of lambs, hogtied and topped with a pretty pink ribbon.

----

As Chopper put away his bandages and the disinfectant in his bag, he gave Luffy a sidelong look, frowning slightly.

"Luffy? You and Zoro have been... fighting more, lately." The remark was neutral, though the brief stutter in the middle was typical of the young reindeer whenever he thought he might be venturing in territory he wasn't quite welcome to tread into, yet. But he _had_ been patching up the both of them a _lot_ more lately and this was starting to worry him, despite Nami's reassurances that the two were just being dumber than usual.

"Yep!" Nodding cheerfully, Luffy grinned and nibbled on some of the treats he'd managed to sneak from the furiously cooking Sanji earlier, while Zoro was being seen to. It also explained why he'd had to bandage Luffy's hand, though Chopper hadn't commented on this yet.

"...why?" The question was direct and simple, not unlike one a small child might ask an adult, in an effort to make the world's mysterious workings a little bit clearer, a touch simpler. Chopper had discovered that when Luffy _had_ an answer to give, the simple questions got the best replies.

"Cause we been hitting a lot of the smaller islands lately for provisions and Sanji keeps ogling the girls with big breasts." Luffy nodded (cheerfully) once more at that, and got up, stretching out with a sigh of satisfaction. "So Zoro gets jealous and sulks. But if I get in fight with him, Sanji stops ogling the women 'n pays attention to Zoro, Zoro gets to show off inna fight while Sanji screams at him an' then Sanji gets jealous cause he thinks Zoro is playin' with me too much and then cooks a lot. I get food, they argue lots, everyone's happy." Silence reigned for a moment, Chopper blinking up at Luffy with wide eyes. Finishing his slow stretch, Luffy bounced up and down a few times, and then beamed down at the ship's doctor. "Thanks, Chopper! I'm gonna go see if I can snitch more food from the kitchen while they argue!"

Blinking and staring into the empty spot Luffy had left behind, Chopper reflected that sometimes, Luffy was frighteningly clever, in his own simple way.


	2. Entertainment

Entertainment  
-------------------

The warning signs hadn't been hard to miss. Chopper had found quick reasons to go do a meticulous inventory of the medicine cabinet and shelves even though he'd done that the previous day, after pretending to lose the list he'd made. Usopp had quickly set himself to climbing up the mast in search of phantom cracks in the wood, waving around a hammer with wild abandon and very nervous laughter. Robin had taken refuge below deck with a book, keeping herself very much out of sight, knowing it would take a truly desperate Nami to track _her_ down.

That left very few people to choose from, really. Nami reflected that she'd have to be more careful about being too obviously bored, the next time. Still… there were a few options left. With a hopeful look she started to prowl the ship once more, in search of one very special person.

It didn't take long to find him, of course. All she had to do was stay above deck and walk around the ship, one more time. And there he was. With a grin of anticipation, Nami crept forward, pondering what new delightful torments she could subject this particular person with.

Luffy was stretched out in the shade, entirely unaware of the impending peril in Nami's expert assessment, his eyes crossed as he tried to stare at something a few inches from his face… and Nami sighed and let her shoulders slump as she realized he was playing that stupid blowing bubbles with his own spit game of his again.

Which meant Luffy would be spectacularly useless on this fine and terribly boring day (moreso than usual) and actually no fun at all for the particular brand of evil Nami wanted to indulge in. She wanted a challenge, something that would make her _work_ for the day's evilness! Not… spit bubbles. With another weary, put-upon sigh, the girl turned around and started to trudge away. A crash from the kitchen followed by a stream of invective cause her to stop, suddenly, and then smile in a slow, crocodilian way.

It seemed as though entertainment had thoughtfully provided itself, after all. With a skip to her step, Nami headed for the kitchen, whistling a merry tune to herself the entire way there.

Once the whistling had faded, Luffy cautiously turned his head, looking out of the corner of his eyes from under the rim of his hat, making sure that the Nami-on-the-prowl had indeed wandered off in search of other, more hapless victims. The renewed screams and shouts from the kitchen (Sanji and Zoro, who else?) along with light, tinkling laughter (Nami, of course) confirmed that she'd indeed found her source of amusement for the day.

Which meant, Luffy knew, that _he_ was quite safe from a Nami intent on exercising new methods of intellectual manipulation upon him.

With a slow grin he crossed his wrists behind his head, heaving a sigh of relief.

Deciding to play stupid when Nami was around, while sometimes tiring, had been such a smart plan, way back when he'd first met her.

Luffy grinned, a fond gleam entering his eyes as he heard her voice innocently egging on the chaos in the kitchen.

Indeed, it had been a plan worthy of the man who was going to be Pirate King one day, really.


	3. Sneaky is as sneaky does

Sneaky is as sneaky does

--

Slamming the lid of the crock-pot on Zoro's head, Sanji snarled. "Slow down, already! This isn't some third rate swill you inhale to avoid the taste, musclehead. Show a little respect for the food!"

Zoro winced, rubbed the top of his head and swore to himself he'd never tell Sanji how freakin' good that weird cold soup actually was. If nothing else, swearing it was vile would only mean the cook would put it on the menu for the next month. And thus, Zoro would get more of that soup.

Damn he was good.


End file.
